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The Probethicist

Dear Probethicist,

While watching a Lizzie McGuire DVD with the family, I whispered a casual comment to the wife that Hillary Duff has become quite the little hottie. Well, all hell broke loose, and she's been giving me the cold shoulder and the evil eye for a week now. It's not like I said I wanted to have sex with the kid! I just think she's turning out quite nicely. Do you think I did anything wrong?

Baffled in Bellflower

Dear Baffled,

You fucking pervert. I'd say go kill yourself, except your family has clearly suffered enough embarrassment. No, just live in knowledge that your wife -- and the Probethicist -- are on to your sick, twisted, worthless life. What a piece a shit.

The Probethicist

(Transcribed by Ishmael Alighieri)

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