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"Stripper's Choice Award" Ceded by Motley Crüe to Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boyz
Los Angeles (DPI) - In a ceremony held today at the Spearmint Rhino in
Hollywood, Calif., renowned '80s hair metal band Motley Crüe reluctantly
released their long held title as the favorite song of strip club DJ's and
dancers alike to Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz, recognizing both their
onslaught of songs targeting this specialty market and the innovative use of
metaphors that have created a new language to specifically describe the
strip club oeuvre.
"The band and I thought Girls, Girls, Girls stand the test of time as the
perfect strip club song due to it's catchy chorus, the steady 4/4 beat that
lends itself to brass pole acrobatics and lyrics that can easily be sung
along to by very drunk and frustrated men," said Tommy Lee, former drummer
for the popular band. "We missed the application of the linguists maxim 'to
name is to own' when we created the song, leaving an opening for Lil' Jon to
step in"
Brett Michaels of Motley Crüe said, "It's with a mixture of admiration and
some envy that I must acknowlege that the simple power of repetition of the
mantra 'Girls' is easily bested by the invention of the word 'Crunk' - a
term used to describe the act of a stripper lowering her naked pubic region
to the floor in front of a guest."
Strippers present at the award ceremony, many of whom are working their way
through college by stripping, admired other aspect of their ability to turn
a phrase.
Candy Kane, noted headliner at the Booby Trap, commented, "The inventive use
of metaphor, pop culture references and neologism in the phrase 'skeet so
much they call him Billy Ocean' -- a line that describes the massive
ejaculation quantity of a particular strip club patron by comparing the
liquid volume of his semen to an actual ocean through indirect reference to
mid-80's R&B singer Billy Ocean - is pure genius." She added, "Hee-hee, I
said 'jism'!"
William Safire, noted linguist and strip club patron, also commented on the
inventive use of language in Get Low, another popular song from their
debut album The Kings of Crunk targeted at the microsegment Stripper
market. "The ability that Lil' Jon has demonstrated in describing the
frustration experienced by men in strip clubs is so adequately captured in
the phrase 'From the window to the wall, all these bitches crawl, 'til sweat
drips down my balls" is poetry on a Baconesian level.
In accepting the award, lead singer of the Eastside Boyz Lil' Jon told the
crowd and assembled press, "Okaaay! Yeeeah!"
(Reported by Ross Brown)
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