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7/20/04

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Musing With Mitch  

by Mitchell Kobriger  

Mitchell Kobriger


If Martha Stewart's guilty of anything, it's making us look at ourselves and laugh.

August is my least favorite month, but not for the usual reasons.

There's nothing better in this world than a good ham sandwich on banana nut bread.

I could probably learn to fly a plane if not for these occasional bouts of claustrophobia.

If ol' Mitch were running for president, guess who he'd pick as his running mate? Lee Majors.

It seems we had much better luck invading Grenada. Why not give that another go?

Damn. What was that thing we were supposed to "never forget" before 9/11?

Idea! How about a TV with a built-in toaster? I'd love to have that thing firing Eggos at me while I watch Jeopardy!

If there's one thing that goes great on bratwurst, it's applesauce, bar none. And, by the way, someone should name a deodorant Bar None. I want the credit, though.

Rule 1 of the Mitch Doctrine: Don't attack dictators with names you can equally harm through mispronunciation.

Poultry seasoning is the food of the gods. That stuff goes great on everything I eat.

If you ask me, I'll tell you every time -- jury duty is highly overrated.

The way I see it, if everyone had bad breath, the world would be a much safer place.

I really don't like those bright yellow legal pads. The white ones don't blind me as much when I'm writing.

If anyone out there has a picture of a pickle that resembles Gina Lollobrigida, be a pal and fire off a copy to me.







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