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07/22/03

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Monday 21st July


Another one of mankind's more astute fellows has fallen, and we are much the poorer today. Dr. William Rossi, podiatrist and chronicler of kinks, has passed away. His scholarly tome, *The Sex Life of the Foot and Shoe*, was mandatory lavatory reading for my prep school lacrosse team, and was sometimes even read aloud on bus trips to games; indeed, it had us all secretly sniffing each other's cleats after lights-out. "There is nothing more unhygienic than a foot which is inside a shoe," he famously pronounced, and there wasn't a boy on our team who would disagree with this scientific finding. So foot-centric were we, that we became notorious for dismissing pictures of Sports Illustrated swimsuit models with a "fah!" and contemptuous waves of the hand after a close inspection of the offending girl's disgusting feet. If it hadn't been for the good doctor, some of us might have gone on to erroneously choose life-mates based on chest size, or something equally foolish. R.I.P.





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