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07/22/03

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President Travis

News From Travistan

The Daily Probe Reports from the
Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan


Things "Smooth" and "Truckin' Along" in Travistan
TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - The Travistani lifestyle is "Rockin' along just great," according to a random poll of citizens of the apartment-nation. Respondents used descriptive words like "groovin'," "ducky," and "the cat's pajamas" to describe how they feel about life in the apartment since Dictator and President-for-Life Travis rose to power in 2001. Sitting on a blanket under a plumeria tree, reading Sports Illustrated with the Crown Princess sleeping by his side, President Travis thanked his supporters from the beer and microwave burrito manufacturing industries for helping him raise the quality of life in Travistan. "Today the average Travistani can enjoy a quiet peaceful afternoon sipping Coors Light and tossing pebbles at passing pigeons at the park without fear of being nagged or harassed into unnecessary and wasteful shopping expeditions funded by the government." The President concluded his remarks by ordering Chee-tos for all and lying down next to the Princess for "a few Z's."

(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)


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