Advice from Strangers
This Week's Guest:
(Translated from Horse by Chuck Sawyer)
I don't know what to do. I want to go back to school
to get a degree in nursing, but my husband thinks I
should be a stay-at-home mom for our two kids. What
should I do?
Confused in Connecticut
How should I know? I'm just a goddamn horse. I don't
know shit about being a parent or being a nurse. The
only thing I know jack about is how to run my ass off
around and around a racetrack. Christ, what a dumbass.
I've been busting my hump at work for years, trying to
get a promotion. Finally, a position that's a step up
opened up last week, and my boss gave it to some other
guy who is way less deserving. Should I quit or just
let it slide?
Frustrated in Fresno
Did you not read my response to the first dipshit? I
guess not. Well, I'll spell it out for you so it's
crystal clear: I'M A GODDAMN HORSE. Now do you get
it, douchebag? Why in the hell would you be asking a
goddamn horse for advice about your career? When you
need marriage counseling, do you consult Mr. Goddamn
Ed? Hey, while you're at it, maybe the Taco Bell dog
could help you with all that baggage in your
relationship with your kids too, numbnuts. Goddammit!