CURRENT ISSUE 7/30/02 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? To-Do List: James Traficant Moth's Diary News from Travistan Movie Corner Globetrotting with Push Info Archives Crap Shop About The Probe Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Advice from Strangers This week's guest: Britney Spears Dear Britney, I'm a woman mechanical engineer at a large pharmaceutical company. Recently there's been a lot of Machiavellian scheming around my office because of a big promotion that's being dangled in front of us. How do I deal with the backstabbing men I'm competing with? Frustrated in Fargo Dear FIF, You must be smart. ;-) I guess you must be smart to be an engineer. Don't engineers have to do a lot of math? I could never be an engineer. Neither could most girls, actually, because math is hard for girls. :-( But that must make you a super-genius, to be good at math and a girl, so you've got that going for you! Girl Power! I know what you mean about having to deal with all those old men though. Some of the old guys I have to deal with at my label are like thirty! :-P Yuck! Anyway, why don't you just do what I do... walk around wearing a bra as a shirt, a micro-mini, and grab your breasts a lot? Just like me, you'll get whatever you want! Solidarity, girlfriend! Britney Dear Britney, There's this girl at work at the Cineplex who's a total babe. Actually, she looks a lot like you! The only reason I haven't asked her out yet is because it might make things weird at work. Should I go for it? "Crush"ed in Columbus Dear CIC, Wow! Too many work questions! This is a little hard for me, because I've never had a job or anything. Anyway, CIC, as long as you have the right qualities, I don't think it should matter whether you work together. I mean after all, if things work out she'll be at home while you're out making the money, right? Just make sure that you have the three things that women look for and you'll be fine: A great car, a platinum card, and enough money to hire a maid when you guys settle down. Because girls don't want to have to do all that gross housework. We just want to shop! Tell your friend that Britney says, "You go, girl!" Britney (Transcribed by Greg Preece)
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