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New Dad Has Seen Enough

MIAMI (DPI) - David Joyner loves his 9-month-old son, Nathan, more than life itself. When they welcomed their first-born, Joyner promised his wife he would be there to help with everything -- 100 percent. "Since saying that, I've seen the black tar-like stuff, the yellow runny stuff, the white chunky stuff and of course the brown sticky stuff." said the 27-year-old as he sat in his den absentmindedly squirting Febreze at the cat. "I've also seen the orange-brown stuff and that green-yellow stuff that turns dark green when things get really bad," he said. "I thought, 'Ok, that's gotta be it,' but then a guy at work asked me if I had seen the clear stringy stuff yet. Maybe it was the way he said it or the sick grin on his face, but I thought, 'Fuck it. I'm not that strong. I'm taking myself out of the game." Joyner said he intends to keep to his current routine of early morning snuggles and many hours of after-work cuddles, playtime and horsey-rides with little Nathan. "But at the very first sign of ... stuff, it's all Mom."

(Reported by Brad Osberg, 2 1/2)

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