CURRENT ISSUE 8/5/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Frankie Haskins Musing With Lil' Mitchie Moth's Diary News from Travistan Movie Corner Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Musing With Lil' Mitchie   by Mitchie Kobriger   When I grow up, I'm going to let my hair grow out from this stupid crew cut. My plastic cup with the built-in straw is the best invention since the Big Wheel. Mrs. Watkins bent over in class and I could see down her shirt. Her boobies are really little. When it comes to bubble gum, make mine Bazooka Joe. Idea! Somebody should invent a peanut butter and jelly and ice cream and marshmallow cereal. Suzie Miller kisses all the boys during recess. I don't know what that means, but I bet it means something! Why can't they make a motzah ball flavored candy? It's always grapes or cherries or something. You know that kid in the fifth row who always has to wear a helmet? He can talk just like John Wayne and stuff. I'm glad I don't have a bed wetting problem like Chas Samuels does. But that's a secret, so never mind. If there's one thing this world needs, it's more people playing freeze tag. Idea! Someone should invent a phone with buttons for numbers instead of the dial-y thing. It's great that cigarettes aren't dangerous or bad for you or anything. If the invented a mind-altering drug that would make kids pay attention and be more docile, I'd take two! Somebody please explain to lil' Mitchie why anyone would need long division. I'm just not getting the point, here. Lunch is bologna, chips and lute fisk -- and that suits me just fine.
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