CURRENT ISSUE 8/5/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Frankie Haskins Musing With Lil' Mitchie Moth's Diary News from Travistan Movie Corner Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Daily Probe Movie Reviews by Scott "Duke" Ducoman Monroe Senior High 5-Second Movie Reviews How to Deal Sandi Mulcahey -- One hand up shirt, outside of bra only. won't french kiss. Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life Carmen Vasquez -- Total tongue wrangler. Smacked me when I tried for some stinky-pinky, though. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines Angela Moorestein -- Got under the bra, has those weird inverted nipples and they're like the size of Chips Ahoy cookies. Couldn't get her to touch "Stanley the Power Drill." Tried the popcorn trick. That fake-butter shit burns. Bad Boys II Sandi Mulcahey again -- Stood me up. Angela must have narc'd on me about sticking my unit in the popcorn bag. Movie was shit, but Will Smith is a smooth muthafucka. If I was him, I'd be rakin' in the freshman poonani like a mad pimp. Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl Lisa Buchanan -- Slut! Went straight for the hand job before the previews were even over and I didn't even have to try the old fake-stretch/arm-rest trick to get down her shirt. Totally wasted $6.75 on SnoCaps, though, cuz she wouldn't leave to wash her hands once the flick started Seabiscuit Ruth Cohen -- Movie: bummer, Ruthie: hummer. Drive-ins rule.
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