CURRENT ISSUE 08/12/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? To-Do List Alaric Musing with Mitch Moth's Diary News from Travistan Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Leftovers Identified WACO, Texas (DPI) - Authorities have identified the leftovers found in an apartment refrigerator. Acting on an anonymous tip, searchers scouring the bottom rack on Friday found a one-quart Tupperware container behind an abandoned jar of sauerkraut and a box of baking soda. A second, smaller, container was discovered Sunday in that little area just above the crisper. "We've identified the leftovers as those of a meal that was prepared approximately six weeks ago," said McLennan County prosecutor Jarvis Thome. Testing at the Southwestern Institute of Forensic Sciences in Dallas has revealed the contents to be a homemade, but restaurant-quality, tuna phyllo bake. The smaller container held a roux-based lemon sauce that would typically be spooned over the tuna dish just before serving. "The contents have deteriorated significantly over the last month and a half. It's no longer edible," said Thome. "But the lab has been able to determine the leftovers were, at one time, light, flaky and quite delicious. To let something like this go to waste is a crime." Clay Drebbin, who shares the apartment with a roommate, has been charged with criminally negligent indifference leading to the demise of a foodstuff. Drebbin vehemently maintained his innocence today, calling attention to the dozen or more near-empty pizza boxes investigators also discovered in the refrigerator. "Only those are mine," said Drebbin. "And six weeks old or six days old, those slices are OK to eat." He went on to accuse his roommate as the one who's "always making that frou-frou shit after watching the Food Channel." (Reported by Brad Osberg)
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