Why Can't *I* Quit My Job to Sit Around
All Day and Smoke Pot Like Ricky Williams Did?
A guest Probeatorial by
I mean what the fuck? Dude makes like a billion dollars a year and
all he does is toke all fucking day. I could do that easy. My
cousin got shot with a nail gun and he went on disability for two
fucking years, all he did was reef up all fucking day. How the fuck
do you get that gig? All I want is some university study or
something to pay me to smoke ganj 24/7. Is that too much to fucking
ask? Ricky fucking Williams, big fucking deal. Thinks he's so cool.
Well, he ain't! OK, maybe he is pretty cool but still, I don't see
the big fucking deal. I could turn pro bowling if I wanted too, but
it just seems like a big hassle or something. Like your life
wouldn't even be your own anymore or anything, you'd just be like the
"bowling guy" and you'd have to deal with groupies and an accountant and
all that shit. Fuck that. Just give me a garbage bag full of weed, a
million bucks, and a bunch of food and I'll be fucking just fine, thank
you very much.
Ricky Williams. What a fucking chump, that's all I got to say about
that. I bet he gets the really good weed too, the total kind fire.
I bet pro bowlers get really good weed too. They should have a
bowling tournament where the first prize is weed -- I'd fucking beat
Ricky Williams' ass, that's for sure. Jerk.
(Transcribed by Mark Niebuhr)
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