The Top 5 List The Daily Probe Ruminations Save Martha Stewart!






CURRENT ISSUE


8/17/04

Front Page

Weekly
Features

Ain't That America?

Probe Interview

McQuigly & Moss

Moth's Diary

Musing With Mitch

Probe Poll

Info

Previous Issues
Crap Shop
Who's at Fault?
Contact Us!



Aye, mateys!
Get you some
Daily Probe booty!




Marsachusetts Approves Same-Sex Anal Probing


THARSIS, Mars (DPI) - In a landmark decision, the Massitharsis Supreme Court decided 7-2 this week to legalize unions between Martians who probe each other anally. Speaking from the press room of the Marsachusetts Cave of Justice, three of the most vocal proponents of homomartian marriage applauded the decision, which has divided the state for many months.

"The Marsachusettian Council has no business in the bedcaves of its citizens," said leading homomartian activist Blef Frexxnik, D-TH. "And if two male or two female Martians want to probe each other rectally in the privacy of their own holes, yet live together as Martian and spouse, then they deserve all the legal protection that traditional, heteromartian couples enjoy."

The landmark ruling came as a blessing to some Marsachusettian couples who have been fighting prejudice for some time. Flix Barfley, 128, and his partner Klee Groxnian, 303, both applauded the decision. "If I want to ram my ovapositor into the willing throat of my lover, Flix, for the rest of my life, we should be allowed all the marital benefits of Martian breeders," said Groxnian. His partner agreed. "We've been anally probing Terrans of both genders for millenia," said Barfley. "It doesn't make sense that it's ok for them, but not for us." Barfley and Groxnian plan on being the first legally married homomartian couple under the new law, and have noted that they're registered at Krax 5th Avenue.

The ruling didn't set well with all Martians, however. Conservative Religious leader Ferd Fleps led a protest outside the courtcave decrying the ruling. "The Great and Wonderful Leader in the Sky is weeping today, now that these freaks have rights," said the outspoken minister. "This is an abomination against all good, moral Martians everywhere." Fleps is best known as the originator of the website www.marshatesfags.com, and a noted homomartianphobe.



(Reported by Gerg Eceerp)






The Daily Probe is updated every Tuesday
or whenever we damn well feel like it.

Copyright 2001-2004 / All Rights Reserved
No use allowed without prior permission.