Marsachusetts Approves Same-Sex Anal Probing
THARSIS, Mars (DPI) - In a landmark decision, the Massitharsis
Supreme Court decided 7-2 this week to legalize unions between
Martians who probe each other anally. Speaking from the press room
of the Marsachusetts Cave of Justice, three of the most vocal
proponents of homomartian marriage applauded the decision, which has
divided the state for many months.
"The Marsachusettian Council has no business in the bedcaves of its
citizens," said leading homomartian activist Blef Frexxnik, D-TH. "And if
two male or two female Martians want to probe each other rectally in the
privacy of their own holes, yet live together as Martian and spouse, then
they deserve all the legal protection that traditional, heteromartian
The landmark ruling came as a blessing to some Marsachusettian couples who
have been fighting prejudice for some time. Flix Barfley, 128, and his
partner Klee Groxnian, 303, both applauded the decision. "If I want to ram
my ovapositor into the willing throat of my lover, Flix, for the rest of
my life, we should be allowed all the marital benefits of Martian
breeders," said Groxnian. His partner agreed. "We've been anally probing
Terrans of both genders for millenia," said Barfley. "It doesn't make
sense that it's ok for them, but not for us." Barfley and Groxnian plan on
being the first legally married homomartian couple under the new law, and
have noted that they're registered at Krax 5th Avenue.
The ruling didn't set well with all Martians, however. Conservative
Religious leader Ferd Fleps led a protest outside the courtcave decrying
the ruling. "The Great and Wonderful Leader in the Sky is weeping today,
now that these freaks have rights," said the outspoken minister. "This is
an abomination against all good, moral Martians everywhere." Fleps is best
known as the originator of the website www.marshatesfags.com, and a noted
(Reported by Gerg Eceerp)
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