CURRENT ISSUE 08/26/03 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? To-Do List Alaric Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Wait, I'll Get You a Laptop and a Projector A guest Probeatorial by Rose J. Grimbe, Starbucks Customer Hold on a second, because I have a Dell laptop and a slide projector in the car. I'm going to go out and get it for you. That way, you can better explain your order to the barista. Of course, all I want is a fucking cup of coffee, but you are clearly handcuffed by the constraints of human speech. The words that human beings have developed to survive for thousands of years are clearly not enough to describe something as complex as your coffee order. Never mind that I'd like to grab a cup of joe and pick up my son Brandon from hockey practice. I can be late. He's just 11, he can wait. Your situation is serious. I want to go out to the car and hook up the whole presentation system that will allow you to graphically explain the primary and secondary caffeine, soy, milk and sweeteners involved in the towering creation that is your order. No, I insist.
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