CURRENT ISSUE 9/3/02 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? To-Do List: TV Psychic John Edward Moth's Diary News from Travistan Movie Corner Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Advice from Strangers This week's guest: Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig Dear Bud: My boyfriend wants to take me to meet his folks in California, which is OK except we'd be driving from Michigan, which will take a few days and my folks don't know we're sleeping together yet. Dad has threatened to cut off my tuition money if I start having sex before I graduate! Desperate in Detroit Desperate in Detroit Dear Desperate: Let's see - you're fucking one party, lying to the other and pretending to be completely honest and well-intentioned because there's money in it for you? And you're counting on people's gullibility to keep your charade going? Sorry, I just can't identify with this situation. I'd suggest you either come clean with your parents, marry your boyfriend or drop out of school. Goodness knows, that's what I'd do. Bud Dear Bud: My buddies and I have gotten into a tricky little conflict. See, this one set of bad guys - let's call them Evildoers #1 - damaged some property, and we strongly suspect another bad guy - Evildoer #2 - to have had a hand in it, but we can't prove anything. We'd like to simply send some of our people to explain things to Evildoer #2, but our associates don't support this idea, because it will stir things up in their neighborhood. Stepping back at this point will make us look foolish. You've had a lot of experience in tricky situations. What would you do here? Bushed in Texas Dear Bushed, That is a tough one. I can't see that pursuing this thing to a definitive conclusion would be worth the trouble, once you get your hurt feelings out of the way. I'd just call it a tie, and go home. Sure, you'll take a little flack, but we don't want people getting hurt out there, do we? Let me know how it goes. Bud (Transcribed by Joseph Moore)
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