Rush Chalks Up Dismal Record Sales to Shitty Songs
TORONTO (DPI) - After more than 25 years of touring and recording,
Canadian progressive rock band Rush realized this week that their
albums don't sell very well because they suck.
"We used to blame our low record sales on music critics slamming us
or thinking that most people aren't intelligent enough to appreciate
us," said the band's bassist, Geddy Lee. "Instead, we've come to
realize that the problem all along has been our shitty music."
Lee found a ready example from the band's catalog. "I mean, have you ever
listened to any of our stuff?" he said. "Back in the '70s, we did a song
called '2112' that takes up an entire fucking side of an album. You could
paint a room in the time it takes just to listen to that vinyl turd, and
you'd be happier doing it. I listened to it last night, and man, it was
painful to me -- and I fucking wrote it."
Drummer Neil Peart agreed. "We also realized that none of our songs
have any melodies," he said. "Ever hear somebody singing a song like 'This
Land Is Your Land' or 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand'? You can sing those songs
because they have a melody line, a catchy tune. On the other hand, have
you ever heard anybody on the elevator humming 'Tom Sawyer' or 'Farewell
to Kings'? Not fucking likely, because it's impossible to do. All of our
songs are in fucked-up time signatures like 5/4 or 12/8 or 17/6, or a
combination of 'em all. Shit, I can't even tap my foot to any of our
songs, and I'm a goddamn professional drummer."
(Reported by Miles Walker)