CURRENT ISSUE 9/24/02 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? To-Do List: Taco Bell Chihuahua Moth's Diary News from Travistan Movie Corner Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Daily Probe Movie Review by Alice Higgins Professor of Wymyn's Studies University of Toronto A note to my sisters: For the next four weeks, we will be featuring four of my potential interns. Since I cannot bear the thought of sitting in a room with these barely-pubescent "men" in order to interview them, I have ordered the four finalists to complete reviews for me. This will not only give me a window into their character (what little character a man can possess!) but it also will give me a nice sabbatical to prepare for the coming semester, when, for the first time, I will have to deal with having disgusting penis-bearers in my classes. Lilith help me. Feel free to send me whatever feedback you deem necessary, as this will assist me in not having to read these wretched compositions.   The Banger Sisters By Jeffrey Forde,    Humanities Major    Rating: 3 stars    Okay, so wow. I was totally not into seeing this flick, okay? Because, like, who wants to see a couple of aging chicks when I could be watching the rippling machismo of Antonio Banderas in Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever? Not me, am I right? But, like, I was watching The Daily Show? And they have this totally adorable Friend Of Dorothy movie critic named Frank DeCaro? And, like, I'd totally do him in a second, even though I'm not into the bear types usually? And so there's a joke in the movie about a banana hammock? And Frank DeCaro said he had a "real" banana hammock? And then he totally whipped out his weiner! So I figured the movie wouldn't be that bad? The only problem is that I can't use the banana hammock joke? Because Professor Higgins told me it was, like, plagiarism or something? What-EVER! So it's about these two chicks who, like, totally used to be groupies, and, like, one of them gets all conservative and shit? Which is totally hard to buy? Because Susan Sarandon was totally Janet in Rocky Horror? And she was a freak in that? And Goldie Hawn plays her friend, who's the other Banger sister, but they aren't really sisters, whatever that's about? And Frank Zappa, that totally freaky guy my dad listens to, he apparently named them The Banger Sisters? Because they were, like, total whores? And they totally got to nail all those really hot '60s rock guys? Who are, like, all dead now, like Jim Morrison? Which is cool, 'cause for a dead guy, he was totally hot? But the weird thing? It's like, so many of the guys they screwed are, like, dead now? So it's almost like they're Patient Zero? So it was kind of creepy? So I thought The Banger Sisters was pretty funny? Although I totally would have preferred being on the receiving end of Antonio's "barrel"? Mmmm. Antonio c'est yummy!
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