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9/24/02

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President Travis
News from Travistan

The Daily Probe Reports from the
Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan


Travistan Readies for New Baby

TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - The Travistan Bureau of Immigration announced today that the country's expected new refugee arrival remains on schedule and related infrastructure improvements are underway. Dictator and President-For-Life Travis beamed for reporters over the nation's new $3,000 paving project, which will benefit all citizens by providing tile and Scotchgard-protected surfaces for safe cleanup of inevitable toxic waste spills.

Last week an exasperated President Travis called for calm after rumors spread that the immigrant was missing a "significant but classified" body part, but fears were allayed by the announcement that the visitor is, in fact, a girl. The government's plan for admittance and housing of the immigrant, now officially dubbed "Operation Little Ballerina," was highlighted this week with fanfare, pink ribbons and Heineken.

(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)


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