Oh Great, Who the Fuck Can I Blame This On?
A guest Probeatorial by
I won't tell you who I work for; doesn't fucking
matter. All that matters is it's my job to find
someone (or something) in the past to blame for this
recent headline: Weapons and Explosives Pass Through
Inspections at 15 Airports.
Jesus H. Christ, let's take a fucking gander at reality, "Hey senator, I've
got a lower bid over here who's willing to whore out
our national security! Yay!" I mean for fuck's sake,
you take a bunch a people who are already slow and
questionable and then make them federal employees!
That's like locking your neighborhood crack addict in
a liquor store to sober him up.
So, who to blame? Clinton's always a good target, but
his heart surgery gives him the sympathy vote, and
besides he is not "distant past." (I get a sweet bonus
if I can successfully blame anyone before Reagan.)
Let's face it, that pussy Carter's probably involved,
but it's a little too obvious. So this time I'm
pinning it on Eisenhower. That S.O.B. Ike always gets
ignored when they're dishing out the blame. As if
those eight years between "asshole atom-bomber Truman"
and "womanizing Bay-of-Pigs Kennedy" were some kind
of fucking utopia. Anyway, here's my angle: When
Eisenhower created the Interstate Freeway system, he
set the stage for the Federal, and inept, control of
Thanks a lot, Ike. You fucking handed America to the terrorists.
(Transcribed by Otis Garcia)
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