CURRENT ISSUE 9/28/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Probe Interview Probe Poll Still Life With Joan Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Review: Sex Camp for Kids a Huge Success LIVERMORE, Calif. (DPI) - Every year, millions of parents agonize over where to send their children for the summer. In past years, parents could choose from among camps featuring everything from military-style survival to math to magic. But despite the efforts of children everywhere to fake enthusiasm, the sorry truth is that these camping experiences were entered into unwillingly and rarely enjoyed. Until Frank and Ulloa Wong came along, that is. The Wongs addressed the issue with the first-ever Sex Summer Camp for Kids, held at nearby Camp Big Fork, and it was a runaway success. "Young teenagers and high-school age kids just love coming here," Mrs. Wong enthused. "We can hardly get them to leave!" Mr. Wong provided some insight into the founding of the camp. "Look, you're going to send your 13-to-17-year-old to camp, and you've got your head in the sand if you think they won't engage in a an assortment of furtive sexual encounters. All we're doing is making sure that, if your child is having sex, it's *quality* sex." "That was the coolest camp ever!" confessed Jon Latchkey, a 14-year-old from San Jose, Calif. "Miss Fiona (a camp counselor) taught me so many things -- I can't wait to try them back at school!" Fifteen-year-old Leah Cromwell was equally elated, gushing, "I was so shy, but Mr. Langley showed me I don't need to be. He gave me the confidence I needed to ask for what I want." Each day at camp starts with a 45-minute sex-education lesson, followed by light stretching. "Then, well, it's off to the races," said Mrs. Wong. "Some kids hardly need any coaching at all. In fact, it's all we can do to keep the little rabbits from banging away right there in class." Others, however, need more help. "For the reluctant ones, we provide one-on-one lessons with a counselor." Each evening, achievement badges are distributed to recognize the progress the campers have made. "Everybody gets some recognition, even if it's just a Masturbator's Badge." By the end of the two-week sessions, almost all the kids know more about getting laid than you average college sophomore. "It's a thrill to see the confidence in those young faces," said Mrs. Wong. (Reported by Ishmael Alighieri)
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