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10/1/02

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President Travis
News from Travistan

The Daily Probe Reports from the
Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan


Travistan in Shambles

TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - International aid groups were on alert Sunday as reports of disaster conditions surfaced from the apartment-nation of Travistan. The Al Traveera news agency reported that the Travistani citizenry were suffering from severe shortages of glassware and clean underwear, and that the country's toxic waste storage facility was in critical need of clean litter. "I would like to personally vouch for the safety of our waste storage," said President Travis, ceremoniously picking up an empty Taco Bell cup from under the nation's coffee table, "and assure citizens that any shortages in our country's cleaning infrastructure will be cleared by the time [the Minister of Domestic Affairs] returns from ballet class. Travistan's task force on apartment readiness is expected to be deployed as soon as Denver goes up by more than a touchdown or time runs out.

(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)


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