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The Daily Probe Interview

This week's guests:

Kitty Kelley

Author Kitty Kelley is on tour with her new work The Family: The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty a 600-page book on the Bush family. Ms. Kelley took time from her schedule to sit down with the Daily Probe.

Daily Probe: Welcome. Let's get right to it. Could you read the passage where you claim--

Kitty Kelley: Where I prove through valid sources--

DP: ...that George W. Bush did cocaine at Camp David while his father was president?

Kelley: Sure. "He left the door unlocked and I accidentally walked in on him. He was covered head to toe in powder, coke powder, and from the way it stuck to him it was obviously a Peruvian brand peddled by the most notorious of the pock faced terrorist drug lords. The very same drug lords that would bribe many to get Geroge W. into the Texas National Air Guard. The very same drug lords that would cover up Laura Bush's affair with David Hasselhoff. W had a small rabbit in his sweaty drug shaking hands. The rabbit was named Fluffy. He was surely going to rape Fluffy in his drug fueled hazy anger. He was a rabbit raper. A terrorist supplied coke crazy Fluffy raper in Scoobie Doo underwear. He did not see me, so I closed the door quietly and never spoke of this until now."

DP: Moving away from critiques on your writing style, or the fact that your editor seems to be non-existent, these are quite explosive charges. You've said the President of the United States used to force himself on bunnies while looking as though he rolled around in drugs. At Camp David no less. Not to put too fine a point on it but--

Kelley: Look. I have scores of sources, many of whom will go on record to confirm what I've written as long as I keep their identity secret. That is the kind of fact checking you can take to the bank.

DP: Another source of problems for your critics were some of the photographs in the book. For instance, you have one of former First Lady Barbara Bush kicking a reporter in the ribs as he cowers in the fetal position.

Kelley: Beloved Barbara Bush was a gangster in pearls despite her smiling face. She was hardened from her days of running booze across the Canadian border during prohibition. Capturing moments where her guard was down -- and I stand by our use of re-enactors and Photoshop - was crucial to understanding who she is.

DP: More than just Barbara, critics point to dubious psychological analysis, based on what some call fictional information, which seems to fill the book. For example, you claim that Prescott Bush, George W's grandfather used to put on a "Middle Eastern dictator's costume," a shoe brush mustache, call himself Salammy Husalammy and beat both son and grandson. This--

Kelley: This of course led to the boys lashing out at anything that resembled their grandfather in this garb, and the former Iraqi dictator did in many ways. This is also why Gene Shalit and barbershop quartettes are banned from this Whitehouse. But to get to the meat of it, we went to war over unresolved grandfather issues.

DP: Unfortunately, were out of time. We like to thank you for stopping by. It has been interesting.

(Transcribed by Davejames)

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