CURRENT ISSUE 10/12/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Probe Interview Probe Poll Still Life With Joan Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Wednesday 13 October After purchasing piles of St. Benedict medallions on eBay and planting them in key locations around my residence, stuffed inside seat cushions, hidden inside disassembled and then reassembled doorknobs, etc., I ordered my gardener to tie them to the undersides of bushes, to tack them to trees, to plant them at the borders of the property, to leave them in disused birds nests and beehives. Experienced exorcists will laugh when they read this, but they will regain their composure and nod knowingly when they learn that I had these religious medals prayed over by a whole monastery of Benedictine monks for a year. Old Scratch will trespass on my hospitality no more. Begone, foul spirit! Get thee hence! Shabba!
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