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10/21/03

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Riding Shotgun  
With Adventure  


by Ron Langston  

Ron Langston

Episode 12: The Inland Island Sea


There's nothing like a deadline to motivate, especially when the term can be taken literally. Our plucky band of four had 15 more minutes to find a unicorn. I was less heartened than the others as I knew the only remaining unicorn was kept in an underground stable in Dubai, and the fact I'd put her there only helped make the bile inching up from my gut taste like irony.

This week's captor: The Culinary Cannibals of the Cutter Islands. "Or CCC for short," they had informed me in perfect, oozing English. "We aren't to be speared or clubbed following our obviously mocking quest. Rather, we will be fed to the sharks they raise in the island's inland sea. After 12 hours the sharks will be taken and their intestines excised, our pieces and parts completing what will become enough sausage to feed the entire population of 130." The fact our group's geologist, Khasolgi, was now coughing blood no doubt ensured the sharks would enjoy their last supper without hesitation.

Then I noticed the searing noon heat on my neck weaken, I checked my trusty Seiko and dared hope we were far enough below the 41st parallel to make my ploy work. "Let us go free or I will blot out the sun!" I screamed. Indeed a partial eclipse did commence as I'd hoped; unfortunately, this small island was educated by correspondence courses and last month the entire Mark Twain oeuvre was on discount. "Very well-played, Connecticut Yankee," the island leader, Liyolth, intoned in an uncertain accent. "This month we will again feed the sharks with small and furry mammals."

Next Week: If only I had been killed last week.








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