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10/21/03

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Wife's Latest Excuse For Not
Wanting Sex Catches Hubby Off Guard



DES MOINES, Iowa (DPI) - Duane Fischer is still reeling from the shock a day after his wife's latest excuse for rejecting his sexual advances. "Wow, I never saw that one coming," said Fischer, a 34-year-old husband, father of two and mid-level account manager. "After 12 years of marriage, I thought I'd heard them all. I was totally ready. Standard, gentle rebuttals committed to memory. Empty promises all lined up. Fruit-scented Body Shoppe massage oil uncapped and standing by on the night table." His wife's latest and completely unexpected reason for not wanting sex circumnavigated all his preparations, crushing any prospects of amore. Fischer said he simply got up, caught the end of SportsCenter and whacked off in the shower before returning to bed. "What else could I do?" he said. "I'd never heard this one before." Still, Fischer holds out hope that, with the help of some long-married buddies and a few female confidants at work, he'll be able to "figure out a way around this one."

(Reported by Brad Osberg)




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