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My Semen is a Cure for Anthrax
MY HOUSE (DPI) - Feeling run down? Got flu symptoms? Runny nose, fever,
aches, etc.? You've probably got Anthrax, the deadly disease that's
making the rounds of offices nationwide. Those damn terrorists
thought they could wipe us out with bio-warfare, but it seems
the bastards forgot one thing: My semen.
That's right, my semen is a cure for Anthrax!
All it takes is a tablespoon or two of my love ejaculate and
you're on your way to a quick rebound from even the nastiest
case of Anthrax. Cutaneous or inhaled, it doesn't matter --
one swig of my magic penis elixir and you can set your worries
aside and get right back into the swing of things.
This 100% natural solution is being offered free of charge
in the name of patriotism. I have set up a toll-free number
and have operators standing by. If you think you may have
been exposed to Anthrax, don't hesitate -- CALL NOW! I will
dispatch myself to your location immediately to administer a
dose or two of the liquid lifesaver.
And guess what? The good news doesn't stop there. Check this out:
There's plenty to go around! Although it doesn't work
on males, there's enough for every woman in the United States,
Latin America, Europe, Asia, Africa and Scandinavia -- especially
Scandinavia. Rest assured, my testicular factory will be working
non-stop to produce enough jizzidote to meet the demand. Do your
worst, Osama, Johnson Industries is on the job!
Organic dispenser included.
(Reported by Tristan Rosenberg)
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