CURRENT ISSUE 10/26/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Probe Interview Probe Poll Riding Shotgun With Adventure Still Life With Joan Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things Notable quotes from this week's news! Special election edition! "Funny thing that... once I divorced Kim and started hanging around the brother who played the second Barney Rubble, the invitation was rescinded." - Actor ALEC BALDWIN on why he won't be moving to France if Bush is re-elected. ¤¤¤¤¤ "I never did that. For the last time, I am not one of the Gabor sisters." - Potential First Lady THERESA HEINZ-KERRY responding to a question as to why she once slapped a Beverly Hills traffic cop. ¤¤¤¤¤ "I convince them I'm Peter Jackson." - Filmmaker MICHAEL MOORE on how he avoids violence toward him in hostile "red states." ¤¤¤¤¤ "The president's plan to solve the numbers straining social security has a little something to do with Soylent Green." - Senator JOHN KERRY, making an unsubstantiated claim on the campaign trail in Florida. ¤¤¤¤¤ "I couldn't help but notice Osama and Kerry are the same height. Just sayin'." - Vice President DICK CHENEY at a campaign stop two miles from Kerry's. ¤¤¤¤¤ "As the number one NY Times Best selling author, number one real estate developer, number one billionaire, number one casino innovator, number one mover and shaker in this country –- any country -- and driving force behind the number one reality television show, the show that saved NBC, the show that is on the lips of every last American standing around every last water cooler, the show that keeps you glued to the screen, I mean of course, the riveting Apprentice, my taking time out from my busy schedule of making my million dollar deals to come out one way or another, would have such sway, I could turn the tide of the entire election, so I choose to keep that information to myself." - Billionaire DONALD TRUMP on why he will not come out for a candidate in public. (Compiled by Davejames)
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