CURRENT ISSUE 10/26/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Probe Interview Probe Poll Riding Shotgun With Adventure Still Life With Joan Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	The Daily Probe Interview This week's guest: Osama bin Laden The Daily Probe's Al-Jezeera liaison cave squatted with Osama bin Laden to get his opinions on the upcoming election. DP/AJ: Any thoughts on who you want to win [the November 2nd] election? bin Laden: Well, both Bush and Kerry talk an awful lot about "killing Osama" this and "wiping bin Laden out" that or "justice, dead or alive" the other, which doesn't really fit into my current designs. Beyond my being a huge booster in the "pro-bin Laden alive" movement, I'm not really into the capture thing either. That is to say I learned a bit watching that chubby Stalin wannabee Saddam get dragged out of that spider hole. It showed me it would be very difficult to lead the War Against the Western Infidels when the number one question among your followers is "what was that exactly they were pulling out of his beard? Was that thing moving?" No thanks -- you're better served as an unseen leader. And sure, I admit crushing a Nader led America may not have the same sense of satisfaction, but it's a choice I can live with. DP/AJ: Nader then? bin Laden: Well, as much as I can endorse the Satanist cancer that is an American politician, sure, Nader. Plus, take a look at the guy. He doesn't look like he's afraid to sleep on a cave floor or two. Judging from the shape his suits are in, he just may [laughs]. DP/AJ: Can we look for any upcoming surprises from you for the American election? bin Laden: [Laughs] You're the kind that skips to the end of books to see "who done it," aren't you? Look, while I appreciate Bush taking the heat off me by moving his mass of troops into Iraq, he didn't do it before killing off a great deal of my top ... party planners ... so to speak. And in this business, as you know, you are dealing with two types: "really crazy" and "really fuckng crazy." It takes a while to get follow through type planners with that crowd. So, you'll just have to wait and see. DP/AJ: Well, thanks for taking the time to squat with us today. bin Laden: No big. Death to the Western Evil Ones and yadda yadda yadda, you know the rest. (Transcribed by Davejames)
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