CURRENT ISSUE 10/26/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Probe Interview Probe Poll Riding Shotgun With Adventure Still Life With Joan Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Max Just Ain't Much of a Biker Since the Accident A guest Probeatorial by "Mad Dog" Curtis, Sons of Sinbad I know we all had a lot of trouble getting through the rough time when Max had his accident, but that was over a year and a half ago, and there's something I just gotta get off my chest. Maybe it's just the Jack Daniels doing the talking, but Max just isn't that much fun to ride with anymore. Oh, sure, he's still the same old guy here at the Dirty Dog when we're sucking back Buds like old times. In fact, he looked up from his straw the other day and sort of smiled at me, you know, the way his mouth sort of turns up before he drools. Yeah, that's old Maxie. But you'll get these times when he just sort of harps at ya, like you're some kid and not an old biker brother. It's all like "helmet helmet this" and "helmet helmet that." And even when I *do* wear a helmet, he's all like "that chrome spike ain't gonna protect your brain pan" and all that. I don't even want to park next to him sometimes, what with his whole thing about the bull's horns mounted on my handlebars. You know that voice he uses when he gets mad at ya -- the voice he had before the speech therapist started teaching him his name again. You know I'm serious about safety as anyone. That's why I always wear my leathers with the brass knuckles on the side, so my Christy's got a place to grab on good from the back. And I threw out my "If you can read this, the bitch fell off" T-shirt last week when Max got out of the rehab home. Hey, I know, how 'bout we leather up that chair of his? You know, chop it real good and polish up that rebel flag of his -- you remember the one we salvaged from the crash scene? That'll probably make him remember the way we used to be, before he got all "shshshshsafety firshshshst" on us. (Transcribed by Travis Reutenik)
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