CURRENT ISSUE 10/26/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Probe Interview Probe Poll Riding Shotgun With Adventure Still Life With Joan Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	This week's guest: Apple Pie Joan: It's a happy day here at the Daily Probe! We just love apple pie! Apple Pie: Well golly! Thanks boatloads! Joan: Whenever someone says to me, "What kind of pie?" I always tell 'em "Give me some American Pie!" AP: Not to be confused with the Don McLean song, eh? Joan: Pardon? AP: Uh, the Don McLean song. It's called American Pie. Joan: Huh. Really? Hmmm. Maybe that's why they never know what to bring me. Well anyway, you're American Pie to me! AP: I try. Joan: Let's get down to the core of the matter. Hee hee! I said core! AP: That you did. Joan: What kind of apples. AP: You mean, which ones make the best pie? Joan: Bingo. I've got a preference, but I defer to your expertise. AP: Courtland. A real apple pie uses Courtland. Joan: AHA! That's what I say too! AP: If you are going to use a Mac, you may as well use apple sauce cause that's what you'll end up with. Joan: I hear you. AP: And those fancy-pants gourmands who use granny smith apples are just showoffs. If you want a good, old-fashioned, just-like-grandma made apple pie, buy courtlands. Any other apples and don't come running to me if someone turns you in to the office of Homeland Security. Joan: That bad? AP: This isn't France. This is America. We put little toothpick flags on our desserts at Denny's. We like our pie, and we want it made the way God intended. Joan: Here here! AP: [Starts to hum the Star Spangled Banner] Joan: I don't know about you, but all this patriotism has really made me hungry. Can you stay for lunch? AP: I'd love to! Joan: Great! I'll go get a fork! AP: Oh. (Transcribed by Jody LaFerriere)
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