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Kansas State Cartographic Survey Team Discovers Colorado
WICHITA, KS (DPI) - Mapmakers for the Kansas State Cartographic Survey Team announced to the media
that land was discovered to the west of Kansas, turning widely held beliefs about the finite dimensions,
as well as the creation, of Kansas into doubt.
Surveyors, all graduates of the University of Kansas and educated in the Kansas State School System,
risked life and limb to travel beyond the borders into the land of Magog, the prophesied land of evil
from which Satan would rise. Rather than discovering demons and creatures of evil, they discovered
more of the plains, leading up to an immense mountain range.
Survey Chief Elias Johnson told the press, "It's as if God himself had erected a barrier no man or
winged demon could cross, keeping Kansas and this newly discovered land of Colorado safe from the
hands of Satan."
The discovery has sent shocks throughout the Kansas educational system, as educators had previously
taught that Kansas was created as the last barrier land between the land of Magog and the Holy United
States Under God (HUSUG). Many educators refuse to accept the findings, telling the press, "It's
obvious that Satan has corrupted the minds of these goodly brothers and we must not listen to this
heresy."
In the Cartographic update, it is now believed that the State of Maine has been overtaken by the
Norsemen from the land called Kan-ah-dah. God save them all.
Cartographic Map of the United States,
Prior to Kansas Cartographic Survey
Cartographic Map of the United States,
After Kansas Cartographic Survey
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(Reported by Ross Brown)
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