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News from Travistan
The Daily Probe Reports from the
Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan
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Travistan "75% Ready" for New Arrival
TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - The apartment-nation of Travistan, undergoing the largest
single infrastructure improvement project in its short history, is nearly
complete with its program of refurbishment surrounding the president's
"Operation Little Ballerina" initiative. The controversial social plan
involved gentrification of Travamabad's historic Guestroom neighborhood
into a new hotel and entertainment district to house permanent immigrants
and forced the sovereign nation's minority Feline-Travistanian population to
relocate to a ghetto behind the computer desk. The nation's dog population
also spoke out against Self-declared Dictator and President-For-Life
Travis, calling for an end to the "endless
onslaught of suspicious-looking contractors" visiting to check the A/C unit
and suggest drapery styles. President Travis brushed off concerns,
suggesting that all Travistanis will enjoy and benefit from the jovial
pattern of pink and yellow elephants, giraffes, rhinos and kangaroos that
make up the baby district's motif. "Under my new
program of 'Travonomics,' these expenditures of attention and financial
resources will trickle down and benefit the poorest Travistanis," said the
president in a statement. A spokesman for the Canine Association of
Travistan (CAT) disagreed, indicating that the pending focus on
diaper-changing and breast-feeding will dramatically shift resources
available for
belly rubs and the Where's the Ball? game. A militant branch of the CAT
is thought to be responsible for two incidents of potentially toxic waste
leakage on the nation's new carpet.
(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)
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