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Roll Your Own Emmy Speech WOW! I am absolutely speechless clueless pantyless gutless ! Let me just say that I am honored insulted diminished laughing to be included with the other fine nominees in this category! As I look out on their faces, I can't help but feel that I am in the best of company they are at death's doorstep there's been a breach of security at the kennel the one on the left is sleeping with my spouse In my past, I've had to face a lot of adversity magistrates divorce attorneys breathalyzer tests , but through it all, I have tried to stay true to my principles nail anything with a skirt that wasn't J. Edgar Hoover get any dollar that wasn't already going to Oprah or Spielberg see further by standing on the back of others . I want to say a special hello to my children my children's 16 year old babysitter who I'm sleeping with my parole officer the Dalai Lama . I have so many people to thank, but I know I'm running out of time. that will take away from my favorite topic: me! they all hate me, so what's the point? they are just the "little people." So, I'll just say goodnight and God bless I won. Na na na na na! Get me a six-pack of hookers, stat! Good riddance! (Reported by Jim Rosenberg)

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