CURRENT ISSUE 11/11/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Globetrotting With Push Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Advice from Strangers This Week's Guest: Jack Black Dear Jack, My son loves to listen to this new age, sappy, pappy girl pop crap day and night. When I wake up in the morning, he's got it ready to go on his CD alarm clock and when I come home from work at night, he's dancing his ass off to this teeny bopper shit. Should I be concerned? A Flustered Father in Fresno Dear Flustered, Come on, man, Christina Fag-uilera? There's no way anyone living would like that stuff. Oh oh, wait, is he in a coma? Should you be concerned? Should the father of a gender-confused 8-year-old boy who listens to sappy, girl-power pop culture when he should be listening to music that rocks his fucking socks off worry?!? Huh, should he? I'm waiting for an answer. No, that wasn't a rhetorical question. I want an actual answer. An answer. An answer. An answer like, yessss, that's what I thought. Jack Black Dear Jack, I've just discovered something shocking. You and Sam Kinison have to be the same person. Don't believe me? Check this out: Found You Out in Fresno Dear Found You, You know what, dude? That's just not right, man. Come on! There's no way I'm him. Do I even remotely resemble Kinison? Do I just start making mad faces and yelling without any reason? HUH? DO I?!? DO I?!? ANSWER ME!!!! DAMN YOU!!!! I'M PRAYING TO ALMIGHTY GOD THAT YOU GET CRUSHED BY A STEAMROLLER AND ROLLED INTO A HUMAN BLOOD BURRITO!!! AHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHH!!! Oh... uh, nevermind. Jack Black (Reported by Danny Gallagher and Jeff Rabinowitz)
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