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Metallica Sues Libraries;
Cites Illegal Book Swapping



LOS ANGELES, CA (DPI) - In their first major lawsuit since MP3-sharing pioneer Napster was forced to undergo drastic changes, Grammy-winning heavy metal band Metallica filed a civil suit against 1200 nationwide libraries yesterday, alleging that the "loaning" of the book "Metallica: the Official Story" has cost them millions of dollars in royalties.

"If a library buys a copy of our book, and then loans it out to just anyone who wants it, that's going to cost us, like, big time bank," stated Metallica drummer and spokesman Lars Ulrich. "Each copy read should be bought and paid for, just the same as each individual copy of our CDs. We're not giving this shit away, you know."

In addition to the libraries, the band has sued approximately 32,000 library patrons, all of whom are alleged to have read the book without paying for it, simply based on the fact that they have a "library card," a sinister device that Ulrich likened to "a paper version of Napster."

Reached for comment, one of the defendants named, 17 year old Metallica fan Jim Trench, scoffed at the charges. "Like they don't have enough money already," he complained. "I pay enough for Metallica CDs, videos, DVDs, T-shirts, and all that other crap. What, they're going to sue me for the money I make flipping burgers at White Castle 12 hours a week? Lars Ulrich can kiss my hairy ass."

As of press time, Ulrich had not responded to Trench's ass-kissing settlement offer.


(Reported by Greg Preece)


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