CURRENT ISSUE 11/11/02 Front Page Weekly Features Advice from Strangers Ain't That America? To-Do List Moth's Diary News from Travistan Movie Corner Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Gay Sheep March on Capital WASHINGTON (DPI) - Buoyed by recent studies showing brain configuration most likely creates their sexual preference, millions of gay sheep marched on the capital this morning demanding equal rights. The diverse herd, which encompassed conservatives, those with flamboyantly shaved patterns and those who were straight and followed along purely because they're sheep, surprised many of the Washington onlookers. "When you think gay sheep, you think rams with ornately decorated horns or sparkles in the fur," said one unnamed observer. "But I was shocked to see the ram from the Dodge Truck commercials leading the march. I mean, that sheep's Ram Tough." Scheduled speaker Jesse Jackson also felt the march would make people open their eyes, noting, "Many out there must let their minds rethink, their brains resync, and accept the power of the pink." For their part, the gay rams and ewes just want to be treated like other sheep. "It's insulting when farmers won't shear your wool when they know it's for the lining of jackets or boots or other 'straight wool' uses and only come around when specialty boutiques need leg warmers or colorful sweaters," said Gay Sheep activist Baa Baa. "Even if the nation's sheep farmers do not see the light right away, many feel a lot of good has been done at the rally. After today, when millions cheer a college mascot bursting out of the tunnel at a football game, they will pause for a moment to wonder if that macho ram is gay. But the day they stop wondering if that sheep is straight or presents itself for mounting in the pasture, we will have won." (Reported by Davejames)
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