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11/19/02

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President Travis
News from Travistan

The Daily Probe Reports from the
Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan



Travistan's Plumbing Crisis Worsens

TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - Citing clogged sewer lines and an antiquated drainage infrastructure in the apartment-nation's building, the Travistani Board of Water Supply warned residents of impending flood and overall yicky conditions Thursday. Following a period of heavy flushage coinciding with a state visit to Saito's House of Noodles Wednesday afternoon, the tiny country's water table reached critical levels, forcing civil defense workers to take precautionary measures, including pre-emptive plunging and "sandbagging" along the edge of the hall carpet with an old towel. "There is no need for citizens to panic," said Dictator and President-For-Life Travis. There's still a good three-quarters of an inch left in the bowl before the reservoir overflows its banks." President Travis turned the blame on the secretary of domestic affairs' "blatant and wasteful" pork-barrelling of the government-issued supply of paper goods. The secretary refused to comment on the accusation, but did accept blame for the clump of hair clogging the shower drain.

(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)





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