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News from Travistan
The Daily Probe Reports from the Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan
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Travistan's Plumbing Crisis Worsens
TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - Citing clogged sewer lines and an antiquated drainage
infrastructure in the apartment-nation's building, the Travistani Board of
Water Supply warned residents of impending flood and overall yicky
conditions Thursday. Following a period of heavy flushage coinciding with a
state visit to Saito's House of Noodles Wednesday afternoon, the tiny
country's water table reached critical levels, forcing civil defense workers
to take precautionary measures, including pre-emptive plunging and
"sandbagging" along the edge of the hall carpet with an old towel. "There
is no need for citizens to
panic," said Dictator and President-For-Life Travis. There's still a good
three-quarters of an inch left in the bowl
before the reservoir overflows its banks." President Travis turned the
blame on the secretary of domestic affairs' "blatant and wasteful"
pork-barrelling of the government-issued supply of paper goods. The
secretary refused to comment on the accusation, but did accept blame for the
clump of hair clogging the shower drain.
(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)
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