CURRENT ISSUE 11/23/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Probe Poll Still Life With Joan Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Letter of Thanks to Voters From Vice President Dick Cheney Thank you. Thank you so very much, from the bottom of my hanging-in-there heart. Four more years... I can't stop smiling. In fact, I might just have to pay some outsourced smilers in India to do all the smiling I want to do. I thought we might get kicked out after two years with our obvious kickback and oil-price-hiking scheme, but you suckers bought that whole war-for-security bit. Wow. Anyway, I had enough tucked away by early 2003 to make sure my great grandchildren's gardeners could live comfortably. Plus to buy great grandchildren for any of my family's lesbians. I mean, Jesus (and I can say that because my party likes the guy), how do you candy-asses do it? I'm talking about waking up each day so you can make me money. Buying gas? Using energy? Paying taxes? That's right: A little of all that comes to the Chene-man. If I didn't think dancing was a little sinful I'd be doing a jig in one of my banks. Don't fret, I'll still be telling our front man what to do each day. But since I could not care less what happens now, maybe I'll have a little fun. Mandatory prayer at every traffic light, anyone? As always: Go fuck yourself. (Oh, so sorry, you already have!) Ha! Love, Dick (Transcribed by Otis Garcia)
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