CURRENT ISSUE 11/23/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Probe Poll Still Life With Joan Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things Notable quotes from this week's news! "It's a funny story really. The president always confuses 'ignite' with 'unite.' We've just never told him because it sounded good in speeches." - National Security Adviser CONDOLEEZZA RICE on the origins of a presidential slogan. ººººº "The only time his body would even move is when one of his guys poked him with wires hooked to a car battery. I think he's been dead for a while." - An unnamed hospital worker speculating on the condition of YASSAR ARAFAT ººººº "I guess the biggest difference is if I have you killed I no longer have to hide the body." VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY on what it means to have a "mandate" ººººº "It still in its infancy, but it involves Photoshop, Bush, and the Nuremburg Rallies." - MICHAEL MOORE on upcoming film plans ººººº "If it... marriage is... I'm all for gay marriage if the gays are a man and a woman. It's the same sex thing I'm uncomfortable with." - PRESIDENT BUSH on the defense of marriage measures which appeared on several ballots (Compiled by Davejames)
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