CURRENT ISSUE 11/23/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Probe Poll Still Life With Joan Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	A Democrat Guide to Grieving Following the charged and heated 2004 presidential election, the Daily Probe here offers all democrats some help in identifying where they are in the 5 stages of grief: 1) Denial. Symtoms of this stage may include leaving your Kerry/Edwards campaign signs in the front yard until local businesses begin to inquire about renting your blank billboard space. Or those of you who earn over $200,000 per year may find yourselves voluntarily paying more income taxes. 2) Anger. You are at this stage of grief if you begin tracking down that annoying pro-Bush blogger from North Dakota, the one his own militia friends call the "unstable gun nut." A more healthy approach would be to add Kerry's face next those of Dukakis, Mondale, and McGovern on your 'Dartboard of Losers'. 3) Bargaining. A bit late to give this one a shot. If you were going to be bargaining, the time to do it was before the election, Einstein. 4) Depression. Resist those temptations to scrawl the entire Bush family tree with your own blood; you'll never make it to the second cousins who've breeded with media mogels in almost every state. Just hide your car keys and enjoy the last few months of legal alcohol. 5) Acceptance. You've made it! You can admit to yourself and others that Kerry lost. Which means four more years of President Al Gore. (Advised by Mark Schmidt)
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