CURRENT ISSUE 11/23/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Probe Poll Still Life With Joan Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Musing With Mitch   by Mitchell Kobriger   You can keep your turkey. For me, there's no better Thanksgiving feast in this world than a roast beef hoagie smothered in gravy. As far as I can tell, cloves are completely useless. My dentist would probably be a lot more likable if he had been a barber instead. Mongrel dogs became a whole lot less funny when they stopped making those hot dogs that are all linked together. Speaking of hot dogs: If you put ketchup on one, you're no friend of mine. People keep saying that plaid pants will go out of style eventually, but fortunately for ol' Mitch, it hasn't happened yet. "Scrunchy" is a really good word. The Fall Guy was a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it's unquestionably the best television show about a bounty hunter/stuntman ever made and no other bounty hunter/stuntman television show will ever come close. On the other hand, it's scared everyone away from even trying. For my money, nothing dresses up a room like an elegant, heirloom-quality spittoon. Idea! Somebody should make cheeseburger-flavored water. No point in washing down a good Quarter Pounder with standard-issue bland water. I've got a sneaky suspicion that this election was decided in Canada. Again. I once knew a guy who always had spittle form in his mouth while he was talking. Now some folks might think that gross, but I always found it rather fascinating myself. You know what's fun to look at? TV sitcoms! Those things are great! A shark once bit me on the posterior. I haven't shared this with you before because I don't like to brag. You'd think coffee cake would taste like coffee, but it doesn't.
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