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11/23/04 Front Page Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Probe Poll Still Life With Joan Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! |
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Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty! 
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Mittens Has Your Answers Right Here A guest Probeatorial by Mittens 
In response to your inquiries of 6 November 2004: Q: Who is the cute widdle kitty? A: That would be me. Thank you for noticing. Q: Are you a good widdle kitty? A: If you only knew what was going through my mind right now, you condescending dung-heap-in-slippers, you wouldn't have to ask that question. Officially, however, my response is yes. Q: Does Mittens want to play with the ball? A: Perhaps my body language isn't shouting loudly enough for your thick, thick head to comprehend -- curled in a little fluffy ball, eyes half-closed -- that I would prefer a nap right now to playing with your ball. Q: Does Mittens want to play with the ball? A: Anus! I believe I just answered that! However, I must admit that I find the tinkly sound the ball makes when shaken rather intriguing. Q: Go get the ball! A: Fuck you! Q: Go get it! A: Look, Dr. Hawking -- if you wanted that damned ball so much, the last thing you would have done, were you a logical creature is throw it! It follows, therefore, that you only wish to see me chase after the stupid thing... the tinkly, shiny, colorful, rolling-- Q: Go get the ball, Mittens! A: Right. I'll pretend the ball is your head. The jingle bell would be your tiny brain rattling around inside that ugly thick skull of yours! [kick] Ha ha! Taste my feline steel! [kick] Get back here, punk! Plenty more whoop-ass where that came from! [catch, grab, fling] You can't escape retribution *that* easily, Asswipe-Jingle-Ball-Head! Get over h... Well, aren't we just pleased with our smug human selves? All right, you rat-bastard, you won this round. I do, however, expect a little extra in the food dish for my entertainment services... unless you would prefer a "little extra" in your work shoes. (Transcribed by Carl Knorr) for Albie |
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or whenever we damn well feel like it. Copyright 2001-2004 / All Rights Reserved No use allowed without prior permission. |
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