CURRENT ISSUE 11/23/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Probe Poll Still Life With Joan Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Where Can I Get Some Cheap Viagra or Cialis? A guest Probeatorial by Mort Wilson Don't get me wrong here, folks. I'm all man. I love women, especially my wife, and I've been known to perform pretty well in the bedroom. But I'm not exactly a spring chicken any more, and ever since my heart attack, well, the blood doesn't flow as well as it used to, if you know what I mean. I know there are a lot of medications out there that can help me with my problem. Viagra, Cialis, and probably a few more as well that I've just never heard of before. But the problem is cost. Have you ever tried to buy this stuff? Hey, I'm sure Viagra works wonders, but from what I hear, it's like 10 bucks a pill. Who has that kind of money? Not me, that's for sure. I'll tell you exactly what I need: a low cost alternative to the enormous costs that these companies are charging. Ideally, cheap, affordable Viagra or Cialis would be the answer to all my prayers. But where would I find such a deal? Oh, yes, I know. Canada. But you know, I don't get there very often. If only there was a way I could get cheap, affordable Canadian drugs. But I guess I'm living in fantasyland, right? I mean, how perfect would it be to have affordable Canadian drugs just MAILED to me. All the convenience at a fraction of the cost! But I bet that will never happen in my lifetime. Talk about your pipe dreams. I mean, that's like wishing for a windfall. Like say, for example, I could get really cheap, affordable toner for my printer or copier. Just not gonna happen. You know what would be a dream come true? If there was a way to funnel money out of a Third World country. I'm sure that somewhere there is a dignitary or politician -- say, from Nigeria - who is trying to get money out of his country. After all, I bet some of these guys are millionaires. I could easily give them my bank account information, and I'd even be willing to provide them with an up-front fee to make it easier. But I'm just dreaming. That's like wishing for cheap Viagra or Cialis to be delivered to my doorstep -- all the convenience, none of the cost. Wake up, Mort. It's NOT... GONNA... HAPPEN! I'm a dreamer. I know it. But, on the plus side, I'm finally hooked up on this Internet. I have a lot of down time since the heart attack, and a nice chunk of disposable income, too. So, it will help me pass the time. So I'll "surf the web" -- as the kids say -- and stop thinking about all these silly fantasies. After all, it's not like offers like this will just magically appear in my "email" or anything. Grow up, Mort. (Transcribed by Greg Preece)
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