CURRENT ISSUE 11/25/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Frank Haskins Globetrotting With Push Musing with Mitch Moth's Diary Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Advice from Strangers This Week's Guest: Michael Jackson's Original Nose Dear Michael Jackson's Original Nose, I don't just have one twin brother, I have three. My mom had quadruplets. As you might expect, I'm having trouble coping with my own individuality. Any advice? Lookalike in Lincoln Dear Look, You deserve your own individuality. But at the same time, you want to stand out over your siblings, so you must do something to change, to be different. Distinguish yourself. I can't think of anything at the moment but I promise to write back when I do. Michael Jackson's Original Nose Dear Jacko's Old Honker, Listen, man, my girlfriend left me last year and even though I've scored with a ton of chicks since then, I find myself still thinking about her. Sometimes when me and this really hot babe are doing it, I picture that I'm doing it with her — my old girlfriend, by the way, not the hot MILF that I picked up at Showbiz Pizza last night. I know she won't hook up with me again after I cheated on her. Is there something wrong with me? Heartbroken Hunk in Helena Dear Heartbroken, It's hard for someone so committed to move on after they've been rejected by someone. I should know, like when that "Rockin' Robin" bastard hired some quack to get a Miracle Blade, whack me off at the perineum and toss me on the scrap heap with the rest of his old parts. Well, who's laughing now, perv? Michael Jackson's Original Nose (Transcribed by Danny Gallagher and Jeff Rabinowitz)
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