Advice from Strangers
This Week's Guest:
Things are bad. I've got all these bills to pay and
there's not enough money
to cover it all. I'm thinking about asking for federal
assistance but am
worried it's going to get out eventually that I'm not
strong enough to take care of
myself. What should I do?
Broke in Boise
Hey, quit yer bitchin! You need to stop whining like a
little bitch and go to
college and get a job! Being poor totally sucks ass
just like Kenny except
his dad's an alcoholic. Are you an alcoholic too?
I'm having problems with an overbearing wife. I don't
think I'm a wimp but
this woman controls my every move. She even beats me
up. All women seem to
control me. What can I do?
Battered in Boston
I would never ever let a woman control me like that.
If she tried, I'd be
like, HEY! You get your bitch ass over here in the
kitchen and make me some
dinner! If some sissy chick tried to tell me what to
do, I'd say, hey, missy, go
knit me a sweater before I slap you in the face.
I hear whales are mammals. I hear they are very
intelligent and friendly. Is
Dear Asshole Fish person,
Intelligent and friendly with mustard on a bun.
(Transcribed by Danny Gallagher and Jeff Rabinowitz)