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Musing With Mitch  

by Mitchell Kobriger  

Mitchell Kobriger

I'd drink a lot more of that store-bought water if they'd put a worm in the bottle like they do with tequila.

I like to liven up my e-mail by including a quote from Nipsey Russell in the signatures.

The Friday after Thanksgiving, your ol' pal Mitch soaks his head in a big bucket of mush. Some traditions are not meant to be questioned.

Ghosts always seem to be getting a bad rap these days.

If you can't use it to drive a 16-penny nail into live oak, it just ain't fruitcake, my friend.

You know what's funny? Monkeys with hats. Period.

It's a dying art, but my barber can clean up around the collar with both nose-hair clippers and a straight razor. At the same time.

Isn't is about time we all dropped this "calamari" crap and just call a squid a squid?

You'd think that ocean fish would taste saltier.

Idea! Somebody needs to invent a CD that fits into an 8-track cartridge. Some of us don't plan on upgrading just yet.

If I ever get a pet dolphin, I think I'll name him "Finny."

I stayed in the Paris Hilton once, and for the life of me I can't see what all that hubbub is about.

It's been my experience that most discarded cigarette butts still have a couple good puffs left on them.

Of all the solstices, the winter solstice is my favorite.

I'm giving the same gift to everyone this Christmas: "Mitch Coupons," good for a backrub or a home oil change.

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