CURRENT ISSUE 12/2/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Globetrotting With Push Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Musing With Mitch   by Mitchell Kobriger   I'd drink a lot more of that store-bought water if they'd put a worm in the bottle like they do with tequila. I like to liven up my e-mail by including a quote from Nipsey Russell in the signatures. The Friday after Thanksgiving, your ol' pal Mitch soaks his head in a big bucket of mush. Some traditions are not meant to be questioned. Ghosts always seem to be getting a bad rap these days. If you can't use it to drive a 16-penny nail into live oak, it just ain't fruitcake, my friend. You know what's funny? Monkeys with hats. Period. It's a dying art, but my barber can clean up around the collar with both nose-hair clippers and a straight razor. At the same time. Isn't is about time we all dropped this "calamari" crap and just call a squid a squid? You'd think that ocean fish would taste saltier. Idea! Somebody needs to invent a CD that fits into an 8-track cartridge. Some of us don't plan on upgrading just yet. If I ever get a pet dolphin, I think I'll name him "Finny." I stayed in the Paris Hilton once, and for the life of me I can't see what all that hubbub is about. It's been my experience that most discarded cigarette butts still have a couple good puffs left on them. Of all the solstices, the winter solstice is my favorite. I'm giving the same gift to everyone this Christmas: "Mitch Coupons," good for a backrub or a home oil change.
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