CURRENT ISSUE 12/2/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Globetrotting With Push Musing With Mitch Moth's Diary Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Tuesday 2nd December Spent the morning primping and preening in front of my computer screen, where I brushed my teeth and applied pomade, dutifully awaiting the email that confirms me as Internet Diarist of the Year. Sure, there are all manner of ghastly navel-gazing bloggers telling us whether it was Cheerios or Corn Chex yesterday, or how they washed their Jetta in the driveway, and no end of me-me-me chroniclers of their boring days cheering on Gov. Dean at their self-named websites, but really, there can be only one choice. The morning drags on somewhat while I wait for the telltale ding of a new email. Ding after ding after ding is heard, true, but these have apparently been intended for a former address-holder with male pattern baldness and a smaller-than-normal schmekl. There must be a server down somewhere between me and the committee. I can't sit here all day awaiting inevitable e-glory. Those horses at the racetrack don't bet on themselves, you know.
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