CURRENT ISSUE 12/7/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol Daily Probe Interview McQuigly & Moss Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Still Life With Joan Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Newsmakers Say the Darndest Things! Notable quotes from this week's news "When you see a huge number of people in the street running in one direction, you just figure running with them is probably a good idea." - Health and Human Services Secretary TOMMY THOMPSON on why he resigned. ººººº "The problems stems from the fact that not even Ukrainians can tell the difference between the names Yushchenko and Yanukovich." - Ukraine expert KORBUL FELTZIVICH on that country's disputed presidential election. ººººº "You guys are twisting my words, what I said was the supplements I used might have been a 'bit steroidy,' not that I took steroids." - Baseball player BARRY BONDS in grand jury testimony as to steroid use ººººº "Both sides panicked when we realized no one noticed we weren't playing." - NHL commissioner GARY BETTMAN on why talks to resume hockey season have reopened. ººººº "...but most importantly I liked the name Kerik. It's a good law-enforcement name with resolve, like Baretta or Mannix." - PRESIDENT BUSH explaining his choice for head of Homeland Security. (Compiled by Davejames)
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