CURRENT ISSUE 12/10/02 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? To-Do List: Hans Blix Moth's Diary News from Travistan Movie Corner Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Mensa Adds Huge Cocks, Enormous Tits to Membership Requirements ARLINGTON, Texas (DPI) - Addressing twin desires for greater exclusivity and a superiority more readily understandable by the less gifted general public, Mensa, the organization for people in the top 2 percent of intelligence, has revised its membership requirements to include a huge cock or enormous tits. "It had come to our attention that some people of lesser intelligence were having difficulty recognizing our exceptional minds and all the deference and inferiority on their part that lacking such minds implies," said Mensa spokesman Arlan McGiver. "Soooo, appreciate this!" He then whipped out his enormous male member. Also in attendance was a group of Mensan women, each sporting at least 44 DDD ta-tas. "Being more intelligent than 98 out of 100 people is nice," added the impossibly well-endowed Mensan Beverly Chapel, "But when you also have a bodacious rack like mine, well, then, it's all over except the envy and groveling." Several former Mensans who were unable to meet the new requirements were less sanguine. "Unlike superior intelligence, penis or breast size does not correlate to greater success," said the presumably small-penised Chad Wesley. "Unless you're just talking about social and sexual success. Then, I suppose it does. But only people of relatively limited intellect concern themselves with such trifling matters. People such as myself, with a perfect 1600 on my SATs and an IQ in excess of 150, find these concerns puerile, if not infantile. Besides, my penis size falls well within a standard deviation of average. No, really." The new requirements received a mixed response from non-members. "With an IQ of 125 and a 10-inch penis, I guess genius stud status is forever out of reach for me," sighed one disappointed would-be member. "Turns out I'd need an IQ of 135 and a 10.2" johnson to make the grade. Damn my genetic code and insufficiently enriched childhood environment." (Reported by Ishmael Alighieri)
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