CURRENT ISSUE 12/17/02 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? To-Do List Frank Haskins Moth's Diary Travistan: State of Crisis! Movie Corner Globetrotting with Push Info Archives Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Daily Probe Movie Review by Alice Higgins Professor of Wymyn's Studies University of Toronto    The Hot Chick Rating: 0 stars (out of 5) Oh, Lilith, what I wouldn't give to be able to assign negative ratings to movies! This was shaping up to be a wonderful week. I'd finally managed to get my slack-jawed, penis-bearing interns to do a little work (well, actually they didn't come in at all this week, which means I got some work done for a change) and on Thursday I found a new vegan restaurant near the campus that makes a wonderful tofu dill dip and serves a heavenly Chamomile. Little did I know that my revierie would end in such a double-bill of putrescence. For eons, scholars and philosophers alike have been tormented by the eternal question: "Is there anybody more annoying than Rob Schneider?" The answer is no, so they can all stop thinking about it now. You're welcome. Schneider plays a petty thug (and one can only assume he's practicing this skill so he can support himself when the rest of society realizes he isn't funny). Rachel McAdams plays a vapid, cruel, and annoying young grrrrl who is accustomed to trading on her looks to get whatever she wants from the knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers that make up the truly weaker sex -- men. I should tell you more about the plot. It would be my responsibility as an educator and critic to explain how the two change bodies, and while the man uses his new female form to become a stripper and prostitute, the young womyn uses her new male body to learn how to urinate standing up and masturbate -- the only two things men have ever shown any talent for. I should mention that lessons are learned and everyone becomes supposedly better people. I should, but I can't. I cannot discuss this film any further because it is quite frankly the stupidest, most insulting excuse for a movie that has ever existed, and caters to the lowest common denominator (men). But worse than this, I actually believe that watching this film has made me stupider. I would wager that my IQ has dropped at least 10 points after seeing this film, and it continues to drop with every moment I think about it. Just in the process of writing this review, I have forgotten where I put my Melissa Etheridge CD and developed a strange curiosity about the WWE. I'm going to have to finish this review now before I lose any more of my blessedly high intelligence. Let me close by saying that once again, sisters, you have been... Oh no. How do I normally end these? You have been ... w ... it's a "w" word, I know that. Once again sisters you have been ... wakened? Weaned? Waterlogged? Oh sweet Lilith! It's still happening!
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